In the last 30 years China has lifted 200 million people out of poverty and taken the average GDP per capita from $249 in 1987 to $6807 in 2013. On top of that it has raised its overall GDP from $270.4 billion in 1987 to $11 trillion dollars in 2015. This GDP value represents 17.75% of the world economy. Economically this kind of rapid development has never been witnessed. In the space of a generation the Chinese economy has changed beyond recognition. People have opportunities that would never have even been possible 30 years ago. China has gone through the kind of industrial revolution that took many developed nations close to 100 years to achieve.
However culture and society cannot change and develop at the same rate as this economy. As a result China now has older (born before 1980 give or take) and younger (born after 1980 give or take) generations that have vastly different views on a huge range of social issues.
The issue of marriage in China is something that has widely been discussed in both Chinese and foreign media. Especially around the Chinese New Year holiday (Spring Festival) when many members of the aforementioned younger generation will return to their home town and face great pressure to marry from various family members. In the space of a generation, views on marriage between the older and younger generations are almost polar opposite in many cases. This is just one of the societal impacts of such rapid economic development.
The views and opinions of the older generation are the ones that they grew up with and were raised with. However, as the economy has grown it has become far harder to pass these views onto their children and grandchildren. As China has opened up young people have been exposed to language, culture, media, travel and financial opportunities that were not available to their parents and grandparents. This combined with the pressure of the older generation has helped to generate these opposing viewpoints.
Sex before marriage:
For the older generation this was always considered to be a big no-no. However for the younger generation sex before marriage is far more common than not.
DINK (丁克):
Double Income No Kids – basically meaning not having children. In the eyes of the older generation this was unthinkable, the sole purpose of getting married was to have children. Being married and not having children was completely unacceptable. However as the economy has improved, the cost of raising a child has increased and more opportunities have become available, people are actively making the choice not to have children. This has lead some members of the older generation to suggest such people are selfish and are not considering the feelings of the family.
Unmatched families:
It was expected that you would marry someone who was of a similar socio-economic or political level to yourself. Whilst this phenomenon hasn’t disappeared completely it is generally considered more acceptable amongst the younger generation, with the older generation still holding reservations.
Age difference:
In the eyes of the older generation the woman should ideally not be older than the man. The younger generation is far more flexible with this rule.
Not having a partner:
For the older generation not having a boyfriend or girlfriend at the age of 27+ is unthinkable, as it is outside of the “perfect image,” which I will explain later. Consequently single people of this age receive huge pressure from their families. For the older generation, many were married and already had children at this age.
When you can have a boyfriend/girlfriend:
For the older generation, high school – definitely not, studies come first. University – you can, but its best to focus on your studies. For the younger generation it is much more common to have boyfriends or girlfriends at high school and university.
Marrying a foreigner:
This is something that has changed substantially over the last 30 years. For many members of the younger generation a persons race is not an obstacle to marriage. For the older generation this is a divisive issue as some members have no issue with their son or daughter marrying outside of their race, however for some this is unacceptable.
All of the points above come from the “Perfect Image” idea.
16 – 22 – Focus on studying at high school and university. No boyfriend or girlfriend
22 – 25 – Find someone to fall in love with
25 – 26 – Get married
26 – 27 – Have children
This perfect image comes from the framework that the majority of those from the older generation were raised in. This was the expectation for everyone, so it’s only natural that they will have this expectation for the younger generation. However as all of the areas listed above become less important for, and less rigidly followed by the younger generation, many of them will move outside of the “Perfect Image.” This is where a lot of the pressure from the older generation comes from. They want their children and grandchildren to follow this “Perfect Image” path. However with all of the opportunities in work, travel and education this “Perfect Image” is more and more likely to be seen as a restrictive path.
From the perspective of the older generation all of the steps of this “Perfect Image” are a means to an end, you meet someone to get married, you get married to have children, you have children because it’s what is expected of you. Ultimately all of the stages are a destination. When you have reached one destination you then need to race to the next. The journey is irrelevant, the destination is all that matters. This thinking is out of line with what the younger generation want and expect from their adult lives.
In the space of single generation the views on marriage have changed drastically. The pressure some members of the younger generation are under to fit this “Perfect Image,” has lead many to minimize trips home or in some extreme cases just marry someone they don’t love or even want to marry just to relieve the pressure. For the majority this pressure has the opposite effect of pushing them away from the “Perfect Image” and onto a path that they ultimately feel is more rewarding and more in line with their hopes, dreams and aspirations.
