At the end of August a rather fantastic article came up on 生活小助手(Sheng1 huo2 xiao3 zhu4 shou3) a fantastic we chat subscription account. It was a wonderful collection of some of the most bizarre, inappropriate and possibly even downright offensive gifts sent by men to their significant other for Chinese Valentines Day. With a rather telling title “今年七夕最辣眼睛的礼物出炉了，真庆幸自己还是单身” – “This years valentines the most unbelievable valentines day gifts are here”. Thank god I’m still single, you know this is going to be something worth reading.
Original article by 生活小助手. All photos also from 生活小助手. Translation is by the two of us. Original article can be viewed here http://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/s8hCLVqGosK2W57GhNY3rw
- A whole lamb?
The first story describes a girl who was sent an entire lamb by her boyfriend, freshly slaughtered and sent through air mail the next day. Naturally the girl was pretty shocked when she opened the box to find the carcass of a freshly killed lamb inside.
“The first gift my boyfriend ever sent me, and its a whole lamb”
Whilst for the girl this was rather shocking, her boyfriend was from Inner Mongolia, where this is a very common gift, but serious gift. In fact this is the most common gifts for engagement. The article didn’t say if they were engaged or not, or even if the sending of the lamb was intended as a proposal.
The boyfriend insisted to her that this gift is extremely romantic in Inner Mongolia. I’m not sure if the girlfriend felt the same way.
“I was completely shocked when I opened it, but my boyfriend who is from Inner Mongolia says this is really romantic”
2) Our love is as solid as a rock
“We’ve been together for three years and from the start of our relationship until now, my boyfriend has never sent me and gifts”
“All of a sudden he called me out of the blue and said he was sending me a very deep and meaningful gift”
Naturally the girl was very excited as she put the phone down. Expecting to receive something with the deepest of romantic meaning to reflect the love shared between her and her partner.
When the gift came she opened the box and inside was a brick, with the message.
“I hope our love can be as solid as a rock”
The thought is there, but maybe there is a better way to express the deep love you have for one another.
3) You sent me an iPhone!
As many people are aware, China is one of the biggest markets for the iPhone. So naturally when one lucky lady received an iPhone box with an attached receipt she thought her boyfriend had really spoiled her.
However when she opened the box, she found Fererro Rocher instead, and although they are delicious I don’t think it was quite whats she was expecting.
“I’m a little suspicious my husband kept the phone for himself”
4) I can’t believe you forgot.
“At first I really thought he’d forgotten to buy me a gift, I took my damaged to heart to bed early that night.”
“The next morning I woke up and there was a Chanel lipstick waiting for me. I was so happy! However my happiness disappeared when I opened the top and realised it was a USB drive.”
Maybe in this situation it was better to forget.
These next two articles were posted on other social media outlets, but we thought you’d enjoy them
5) You got me what?
A girl posted this on wechat.
“This year I must have received the best valentines day gift. I won the competition”
Big statement to make. The girls will feels jealous and the guys will probably not be a big fan of her boyfriend. In China 红眼病，the jealousy of other peoples possessions is pretty common. Hence why Very much like a keeping up with the Jones’ type situation.
“My boyfriend brought me a cemetery plot”
Below the post one of her friends commented:
“Is this real or fake?”
Her response was…
“Real, it cost 280000yuan ($43K, GBP32.7K) and I have a property certificate”
The property certificate means that now they own this piece of land, and with ever increasing house prices on China this could be a semi-decent investment. Although maybe not the most romantic valentines day gift.
6. I just wanted to cook you a wonderful meal.
In JiXi County police received reports from concerned locals who had heard a number of explosions in the valley. Police were dispatched to the valley where after 20 minutes of hiking the found the culprit.
A young man was using firecrackers to catch fish. When questioned by police, he told them it was his girlfriends first time coming to his home so he wanted to cook her a wonderful meal of fresh fish.
He ended up getting some kind of punishment which wasn’t detailed in the article, but most likely a fine or possibly a short stay in custody.
However the police did allow him to take the fish he had blown up, so it seems his girlfriend got the meal in the end.
